Unknown," which premiered on PBS the night of October 30th. I suppose that my story is like a lot of the others posted here, but in my case there was a twist. My parents are both alcoholics, and the love they gave me was always conditional, so I never quite knew if the loneliness and alienation I felt as a child was due to this or to the fact that I was probably born intersexed.
In my case, the intersexuality was largely hormonal, which probably means Klinefelter Syndrome or Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. And since the doctors obviously lied to my parents in order to get them to have things done to me, and then my parents in turn lied or covered things up, it is now extremely difficult for me to trace the actual course of treatment that was done.
All I know is that I was born with normal-appearing but undersized male genitalia. They were close enough to normal size for them to classify me as male, but not close enough for them to leave me alone. I can still remember, at about age 4, having my genitals X-rayed for what seemed to be no apparent reason. As I matured, my penis remained somewhat small.
At age 10, I had an operation to lengthen the urethra so that I could have "normal" erections. I also had the opening at the head of the penis widened because "it was too small. And of course I also never developed certain male traits, i. In addition, when my penis did become erect, it stiffened straight up so that it was physically impossible for me to insert it in a vagina. Like it seems 99 percent of transsexuals, I was socially awkward, introverted, almost pathologically frightened of any form of shared nakedness or intimacy in any form.
I did not date. At age 16 my mother took me to a doctor who ran a full set of blood work on me. But when we came back for the results only my mother was told behind closed doors. When they came out, they told me that I was hypothyroid and so would have to take thyroid shots for the next two years. I did what they told me, but it was only after these "thyroid shots" that I began to grow facial hair. Two years later, my voice finally broke. I am now convinced that I was receiving testosterone injections.
In a way, I am grateful that my parents did not send me to an institution or submit me to shock treatment, as others did. But they have not leveled with me to this day on what was done, and in fact like Mission Impossible they deny any knowledge of their actions. In I had another set of blood work done, at which time it was shown that I have only two-thirds the normal amount of testosterone for a male, but the normal estrogenic levels of FSH and LH lutenizing hormone , which in my body turns to fat cells.
I am grateful and happy that I finally figured out that I am chemically a woman, because my new social role suits me to a T. On the other hand, I am sad that it took 46 years for me to come to this realization. I could have been so much happier so much earlier in life if I had only known! My advice to all those who think themselves intersexed or transsexual is: Have the tests and go with the flow.
As Langston Hughes once said, "When you turn the corner and run into yourself, you know that you have turned all the corners that are left. I conceived, carried, and gave birth to one child, a normal daughter.
My sexual orientation is "heterosexual. When I was an infant, probably a newborn, my clitoris was removed. My birth family is primarily Anglo-Saxon, with some Native American, so there was no cultural reason for removal of my clitoris. My medical records from that time were destroyed. No one is left alive in my family who can tell me what happened. I was never told what happened by anyone in my family.
I have had serious problems with depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress, and suicidal feelings for most of my life. I have been aware of some of the causes, but not all. A few years ago with the support of a counselor I arranged to be seen by two doctors, gynecology-endocrinology specialists, who gave me a testosterone tolerance test. They said that I was "within the range of normal" for a woman and had probably had "idiopathic clitoromegaly" as a newborn, meaning enlarged clitoris, cause unknown.
The two doctors were satisfied with the diagnosis. I would like to have been given an intense chromosomal screening, but since the doctors didn't recommend it, my health insurance would not pay for it, and I can't afford it. Since about age nine I have had gender dysphoria.
When I was young it was very difficult to deal with. I have gotten used to it. I still get called "Sir" occasionally, but now it just seems humorous rather than malicious. I do not feel compelled to have SRS, sexual reassignment surgery, but especially when I was young I felt that a mistake had been made—just like the British woman said, the one who appeared briefly in NOVA's "Sex: Life as a woman has been very difficult for me.
Straight people see me as a lesbian. Lesbians know that I am not. I feel the most comfortable with gay men. In fact, I put "heterosexual" in quotes because what I feel most like is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. I'm attracted to men, but not as a woman. I am especially sad about the way the culture in the U. In many traditional cultures we are held in esteem as healers. Our physical manifestation of both sexes is seen as a microcosm of the blending of the physical world with the spirit world, and indeed many of us are closer to the spirit world than "normal" people are.
In this culture, though, we are seen as freaks and forced as much as possible to conceal any deviation from the sexual norms. It's important for me to tell this story.
I want to make sure others like me know that they are not "the only one. I briefly considered suing the hospital where I was genitally mutilated, but it's been so many years. I would just like to have more complete knowledge of what happened and why. Unsigned The story of David Reimer interested me and truly touched me. I am a heterosexual female in my late 20s, who throughout childhood carried a slight fear and doubt about my genital organ.
I was born premature at seven months, weighed only four lbs. My mother, who had not expected my birth so early and was staying at a remote mountain cottage to avoid the city heat, had no choice but to call a retired midwife in a nearby village. I was announced as a girl by the midwife, but I was born with slightly larger-than-usual female genital organs, which seemed to have troubled my mother. When I was a little girl, my mother often sighed and expressed her concern about my irregular genital organs.
Although I was convinced that I was a girl which I am , her words hurt me a lot. My mother had consulted doctors and was told I was a perfect female, yet she had lots of worries about my organs or gender or both. What makes me sad now is my mother's inability to accept me as I am, and also her inability to seek and study the truth. My mother has hurt my feelings by her own speculation and worries, which had no scientific grounding.
I have no intention to blame her for what she has put me through emotionally, yet I just wish she had taken a different attitude towards my sexuality. And I wish many parents would seek information and professional help, if they have any doubts about their child's sex or genital organs and assure their children with the truth. I remember how happy I was when my period started at the age of I could have had a worry-free childhood as a female, if my mother had not bothered me with her thoughts.
I don't know if my experience has much relevance to the topic, but your program about Mr. Reimer gave me an opportunity to think and recapture my childhood experience, and I sincerely thank you and especially thank Mr.
Reimer for his courage to share his painful story with others. Lastly, I'd like to thank Mr. Colapinto [author of the book As Nature Made Him] for giving many people a chance to learn more about this issue. Blanche As a female-to-male transgendered person, I was glad to see the voice of reason for a change, rather than this ongoing insanity of infant sex reassignment. The sanctioned brutalizing of babies is absolutely obscene.
I have spoken with intersexed youth, and I have yet to hear one say it was a good thing. As a transgendered person, I am also relieved to hear that there may be some form of proof that our "affliction" actually exists. I knew between the ages of 5 and 6 that I was actually a boy inside. It took 29 years to get the courage to change my life before I needed to take my life. I, too, could not imagine "going back," as there is nothing to go back to.
We travel a difficult but wondrous journey; we live special lives. I believe medical care should be covered under insurance or public health for transsexual as well as intersexed people.
It would be nice to not see any more advertising pointing a cruel finger at differently gendered people. A current Visa ad is one example. It seems gender variance is the last safe scapegoat, but to many it's not funny. We just want what everyone wants, respect.
Unsigned I have struggled all my life with sexual identity. As a male approaching 50 years, I have worked hard throughout my life to reconcile my feelings with the reality of my body.
Initially I felt that the source of my difficulty was due to my mother's expressed desire that I was to be a girl. However, I have struggled for too long for it to be simply that. In the 70's, and my collage years, I researched the emergence of transexuality.