I've yet to meet a woman who didn't want to improve her oral sex skills. And who, may I ask, can blame us? If there is one surefire way to put a smile on a man's face, this would be it.
And once you know and feel that giving your lover oral sex is percent your choice, he'll appreciate the gift even more. So, why do men love it so much? It's a question I've heard asked more times than I can even remember.
Not having first-person knowledge of penises and the psychology that accompanies them, we must go straight to the source for the answer. The source I'm referring to here, ladies, is men. In spite of all evidence to the contrary at times, penises don't really have minds of their own. A thirty-seven-year-old male physician put it quit ' succinctly: Some men love oral sex because it makes them stir render. As one man, a stockbroker from New York, said, "I've got my most cherished and sensitive possession in her Mouth, between her jaws and only centimeters away from her teeth!
If I was ever at a loss of control, this would be the time. But that's precisely what I love about it. For me it's about the surrender of power. For these men, oral sex is a way of releasing sex ual tension without having to endure the same risks—either physically or emotionally—as intercourse.
But the most common reason men enjoy oral sex is that they don't have to do anything: Your mouth on his penis feels sensational and considerably more personal and intimate.
As one man, a banker from Chicago, told me, "A mouth is so much more versatile than a vagina. In addition, being the visual creatures they are, men find it thrilling to watch the metamorphosis of their penises take place before their very eyes. Most importantly, I feel, oral sex is the greatest gift of intimacy a woman can bestow upon a man. Between the touch, the sight, and the sound of oral sex, it's almost a sensory overload.
Many men have said it's like being in their own erotic film, only it isn't an act and they're starring with the women they love. And they are able to reach orgasm without having to physically work at it.
For that reason, your giving them oral sex is truly a gift bestowed. Once again, I have to confess that I am not now, nor have I ever been, comfortable with the term "blow job.
There are several theories as to the origin of the expression. The one I give the most credence to dates back to the late s when jazz musicians referred to this act as "playing the skin flute. But as you become more comfortable with giving oral sex to your partner, you'll most likely find the term you're most comfortable with. And for the record, most men refer to oral sex as a "blow job. First, the secret to your success and enjoyment in going down on your lover is in taking control.
Oral sex is a lot more fun for you if you don't have to work so hard. If you are controlling the pace and the position in which his penis enters your mouth, there's very little chance of your gagging.
You can decide how far that penis goes, and once you've reached your maximum level of comfort, you then simply pull it back out. As his penis becomes less foreign to your mouth, you will gradually he able to take in more of it, should that be what you desire.
If you remember nothing else about performing oral sex on a man, let it be this in order for it to be done effectively, you must be in charge. This is something you do for him, not something he does for himself through you.
The women who like it are the ones who do it. The women who don't enjoy fellatio feel it is being done to them and tend to shy away from it. It Doesn't Feel Like a Request Most often a woman's first experience with oral sex comes at the request of her lover.
He'll either come right out and ask to be taken care of, or sometimes just push her head in the general direction of his penis. But either way, she's not going to find a set of instructions down there, telling her what to do. In an attempt to show her what he wants, the guy will usually start thrusting himself in and out of her mouth. For most of us, this does not feel good and certainly isn't any fun. Also, a man usually doesn't know how to give precise directions or describe how and why an action feels good.
Indeed, while men remember the best oral sc. Gagging The main reason I hear over and over again as to why women don't like oral sex is that they gag when the penis goes down their throats. Just so you know, it is a very common problem, and make no mistake, giving a man headis very much an acquired skill.
Mother Nature gave us a gag reflex as a way of keeping our throats protected. A straight male friend of mine was curious to experiment, using a seminar "instructional product. The skill comes in learning how to handle the gag reflex. After all, if a woman can be gagged with the proverbial spoon, for heaven's sake, what would make her think she wouldn't choke on a man's penis? It doesn't come naturally for anyone to have foreign objects plunged down their throats.
Finding That Hard to Swallow? The other reason for not giving oral sex to their lovers, women tell me, is that besides gagging, they have issues with swallowing. To swallow his semen or not to swallow it has been an ongoing drama for many women, for as long as people have been practicing oral sex. First and foremost, you should know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt—if you don't want to swallow, you don't have to. Not swallowing won't make you a bad lover, nor will it in any way diffuse the pleasure your lover receives when he orgasms.
A man who makes you believe otherwise does not deserve your gift of oral sex. One woman, a sex therapist herself now in her mid-fifties, told me that she always swallowed when performing oral sex with her husband. For some reason, she no longer likes to swallow and doesn't. It's up to you, ladies. Whether you want to swallow or not, I think it only fair to tell you that men do find it a turn-on to see a woman swallow their semen.
More than that, perhaps, they say that being allowed to ejaculate into a woman's mouth gives them an overwhelming feeling of acceptance, specialness, and intimacy. For this reason, it would be kinder, should you not want him to come in your mouth, to refrain from using words like "grotesque" and "disgusting" when offering an explanation as to why.
Imagine how you would feel if he were to use words to that effect to describe why he didn't want to taste you. As a form of compromise, many women allow their lovers to ejaculate into their mouths and then let the semen drip out the sides, rather than swallow it.
The Seal and The Ring technique, which we'll discuss further on in the chapter, allows you to use your hand to catch his semen and keep it there, without him even knowing it. From his angle, it will appear as if he came in your mouth.
There are plenty of other alternatives as well. One woman, an administrative assistant from San Francisco, said. This way she knows when to pull me out. Let us not forget that most porn films are scripted to appeal to male fantasies. In actuality, it is rare for a woman to be able to do this.
Secret from Lou's Archive I happen to have my own personal theory as to why the swallowing of semen can be challenging. First, immediately upon ejaculating, semen gels as a natural buffer against the vaginal environment, so it has a texture some women find unpleasant. Second, it is the nature of sperm to travel uphill. The little devils can't help themselves. Swallowing is a downward action, and these guys are doing everything in their power to go.
The nutritional and caloric value of a man's semen have been debated and discussed for as long as women have been giving men head. Women who enjoy swallowing will insist that semen tastes delicious, that it is high in protein and even that it makes a great facial mask.
Women who won't swallow say that semen is fattening and high in sodium. The truth of the matter is, semen contains the simple sugar fructose, and one ejaculation probably contains about 6 calories.
On the other hand, it is possible to influence the taste of semen through diet. The old saying "You are what you eat" has never been more appropriate than when it comes to the taste of intimacy ladies, for the record, this applies to the way you taste, as well.
If you want to swallow for him, but simply can't stand the way he tastes, don't give up the ship until a change in menu has been put into effect. There is still hope. The consumption of fruits will give him a lighter taste that is far more appealing than the taste you'd get if he eats broccoli, asparagus, or foods that have a high salt content. After eating red meat, semen will be thicker or gummier. Beer and hard liquor also tend to produce a bitter, unpleasant taste in the semen.
And needless to say, smoking of any sort cigarettes, marijuana, cigars, or pipes will negatively effect the taste of intimate juices the same goes for you, ladies.
In addition, any kind of medication or vitamin can change the taste and sometimes consistency of semen. If you try a change in diet and still find it impossible to swallow, don't beat yourself or him up over it.
Remember, swallowing is not mandatory, and in fact, only about 20 percent of women swallow during oral sex. This form of oral sex is yours and yours alone to give away. If you follow the techniques outlined here, chances are he'll be in such a state by the time he ejaculates, he won't notice or care where his semen ends up, he'll only be grateful to have had you there to release it.
The Steps The second secret I'd like to share is simple: This is known as The Seal. Then, with your thumb and forefinger, tighten and release the pressure, determining exactly how deeply his penis enters your mouth; this is known as The Ring.