By Dan Savage click to enlarge I'm a gay man who is ready to start cheating on my boyfriend. We've had a wonderful 3. I love everything about our relationship, and our sex life was great At that point, he lost all interest.
Both breakups lasted only a few hours because I honestly don't want to leave him. When I bring up an open relationship, he just goes quiet. I've moved past most of the anger, frustration, hurt, embarrassment, and sadness. But I won't accept a life of celibacy.
I would like to get some discreet play on the side. My boyfriend is very perceptive, and I'm a bad liar. I don't want to get caught — but how should the conversation go if when I do? I'm leaning toward something like this: Everything else about our relationship is wonderful, but we couldn't fix this one thing, so instead of continuing to push the issue, this is what I decided to do.
Tell your boyfriend you love him — you would have to, considering what you've put up with for nearly three years — and that you have no desire to leave him. But while your relationship is wonderful in many ways, it's not sexual in any way. And while you're willing to settle for a companionate relationship, you're not willing to settle for a sexless existence. Rather than being threatened by your occasional, discreet, and safe sexual adventures, CHEAT, your boyfriend should be grateful for them.
Because those sexual adventures, and your boyfriend's acceptance of them, will make it possible for you to stay together. Hopefully he'll see that the men you'll be fucking on the side aren't a threat to your relationship but its salvation. If your boyfriend can't see that, if he insists that your relationship remain monogamous and sexless wouldn't that technically mean he's the only person you don't have sex with? The third time might be the charm.
I'm a woman in a hetero marriage. My husband and I enjoy skimming the Craigslist "casual encounters" section. It's like people-watching, but NSFW. We recently stumbled on an ad posted by a male friend. Other than the concept of winners and losers during sex, I've got no issues. The thing that gnaws at my conscience is this: Our friend is a young guy, bi-curious, and impulsive.
Once I got over the giggles of glimpsing a dick pic that was not intended for my eyes, I began to worry about our friend's risky behavior. Do I say something? I care about this guy, but I don't want to come off as "mommy" or "creepy. He could be using condoms, taking Truvada, and carefully vetting his play partners. But if I spotted a friend's dick on Craigslist in an ad that left me the least bit concerned for his safety, I would say something.
I don't mind coming off as "mommy" meddling mommy impulses are a requirement for this gig , and if looking out for your friends is "creepy," then I'm a creep. I'd go with something like this: What you're looking for sounds hot. But I hope you're being safe: And speaking from experience, getting fucked right after you come sounds sexy in theory, but it's not much fun in reality.
So I hope you're taking a refractory-period-length break — maybe for ice cream? I have tried to train my ass, but the largest thing I can place inside remains a small butt plug.
If I try anything bigger, the pain is unbearable. I've always been a very anxious person, and it's clear my anxiety goes right to that area. Sometimes, after trying to place something larger inside me using tons of lube, of course , I will get a hemorrhoid.
Since those are horrible to deal with, I think my mind has started to associate any type of anal play with getting hemorrhoids. The problem is that I feel like I'm a bottom. Yes, I will top guys, and I don't mind it, but I find that the men to whom I'm most attracted want to fuck me, which is something I would like. And unfortunately, worrying about pain during sex makes it worse," said Charlie Glickman, sexuality educator and author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure www.
It's like putting lip balm on dry lips. Cocoa butter or coconut oil work well. I also like the golden seal and myrrh formula by Country Comfort. Apply it twice a day. And once you start: It'll also help if he explores external anal massage without going inside. That can help his body unwind the tension and let go of the flinch response. There are lots of great external massage moves that can feel amazing on their own or as part of foreplay.
Look for the anal massage how-to videos on eroticmassage. Then you can give penetration another go: Follow Charlie Glickman on Twitter charlieglickman. Fox News on transgender issues.