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Over time, people familiar with cruising gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts in public — or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men — undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes.

They will see each other and usually decide to go someplace else. The vast majority have no interest in being seen. No ongoing friendship or romance is expected, although one might develop, and the hunt is nearly as much fun as the act itself. Cruising has a bad rap. But any activity can be addictive if it takes over your life. Who said that sex always has to lead to something?

Not if you follow a few simple rules. There are different rules for cruising in real spaces like bars, and online. Select your cruising venue carefully. You can cruise anywhere — a bar, an organization meeting, a shopping mall, a gym, a museum, the beach — but it should be a place where there are a lot of gay men who have enough time to stop and chat. The best hours are between 2 and 4 pm in public places, and between 9 and 11 pm in bars. When it gets late, you start getting desperate, and you are more likely to go home with someone inappropriate.

Cruise with a buddy. Cruising alone makes you seem creepy, especially if you are over Besides, everyone looks more attractive in a group, and your buddy can help you judge potential partners. Do not drink while cruising. Or drink only in moderation. The same thing with drugs. You need a clear head to judge potential partners. If you are drunk or high, you will make mistakes. When you see someone that you find attractive, strike up an ordinary conversation.

Talk about the music at the bar, the exhibits at the museum, the food at the festival. Move on to questions about jobs, leisure interests, family, and so on. If he is hesitant, or if his story has blatant contradictions, move on.

If he asks, be brief and noncommittal. If he wants details, chances are he has no intention of following through with a meeting. He just enjoys thinking about sex. Word the invitation carefully. You are obviously attracted to each other, so where do you go from here? A friendship, a romance, or a hookup? Invite him to your place, if possible. Take your own cars. Make sure that someone knows where you are.

Have your roommate in the house. Have your buddy follow you. Clean your apartment in advance. Nothing spoils the mood more than dirty dishes in the sink, an unmade bed, and an overflowing clothes hamper.

Leave your wallet in the car. Safe sex practices only! If it is a daytime hookup, etiquette demands that you offer him coffee or a snack afterwards. Of course, you may want to go farther — in that case, ask him for a date on the spot.

Here are some suggestions. Here are a few handy hints if you like a bit of al fresco cruising. If you take your phone, put it in silent mode and keep it out of sight. Not only will you be advertising it to potential pickpockets, but you may not notice if guys are cruising you. Find out where the exits are and where any paths lead to. If you want to fuck him, tell him — or take out a condom — and see how he reacts. Keep clear of trouble There may be occasions when you need to refuse unwanted advances or find yourself in a difficult situation.

Well, actually, quite a lot of people. If this is your thing or maybe you want to try it, here are some tips you should know. Sex in a public toilet is illegal: If someone complains and you are caught with your pants down you could be prosecuted.

So be careful at all times. Sex in public places: Public order offences exist that guard against outraging taste and decency like fucking in the supermarket aisle , but the act permits sex in an isolated place so long as you have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Sex behind a toilet door does not count. This is designed to protect you from being watched without your knowledge or consent via anything from hidden webcam to a hole in the wall.

The law exists to protect you, and prosecute people caught with their pants down. If you are arrested you are entitled to free legal advice and should ask for a solicitor to be present. You are only required to give the police your name and address. The police may ask you for proof. You do not have to give information about your job or where you work. You do not have to reveal your HIV status unless you require medical help — and then only to a police surgeon.

You will be required to sign a number of documents. Always read them carefully and make sure you fully understand what you are signing. Never plead guilty if you have not committed any offence.

Regardless of HIV status, using condoms protect you and your partners — it is not only about HIV but also other sexually transmitted infections. Oral sex is low risk as far as HIV is concerned, but you can still pick up other sexually transmitted infections. You have the right to stop having sex whenever you want. Dispose of your used condoms carefully — wrap them in a tissue and put them in a rubbish bin or take them home.

More complaints are received about used condoms left lying around than about men using the sites. There is no specific law against cruising. Sex in public places is not illegal as long as other people who might be offended cannot see you and are unaware that you are having sex. According to police guidelines, the police should only respond to complaints from the public and should not go to an area to proactively try to catch people cruising.

However, there are times when the police may investigate an area, for example if there are reports of homophobic attacks or robberies. It is not against the law for people to loiter, engage in conversation or walk around a cruising ground with the purpose of meeting others.

In other words, you cannot be arrested simply for going cruising. If you engage in sexual activity or behaviour that may cause alarm or distress to others, such as indecent exposure or voyeurism, you could be arrested or prosecuted under the Sexual Offences Act or the Public Order Act Therefore it is advisable to be as discreet as possible to avoid attracting attention. For example, use secluded areas, and not anywhere you might be seen from a public road, path or houses, particularly during daylight hours.

Remember to stay close to other cruisers though, in case of any trouble. Cottaging is looking for or having sex in a toilet available for use by members of the public, including toilets in the street, shops, leisure centres and other public transport venues such as train stations. The Sexual Offences Act makes it illegal to procure or engage in sex in a public toilet and it is against the law for both gay and straight people.

You can risk being arrested for cottaging regardless of whether you are being discreet or not. For example, having sex in a cubicle behind closed doors is still illegal.

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Gay sex hook ups monterey

Over time, people familiar with cruising gay men began using a codified system of signals to indicate to others that they were interested in sex. In an effort to curb lewd acts in public — or as some gays argue, in an effort to persecute gay men — undercover police began sting operations in places known for sex soliciting and employed the same codes. They will see each other and usually decide to go someplace else. The vast majority have no interest in being seen.

No ongoing friendship or romance is expected, although one might develop, and the hunt is nearly as much fun as the act itself. Cruising has a bad rap. But any activity can be addictive if it takes over your life. Who said that sex always has to lead to something? Not if you follow a few simple rules. There are different rules for cruising in real spaces like bars, and online.

Select your cruising venue carefully. You can cruise anywhere — a bar, an organization meeting, a shopping mall, a gym, a museum, the beach — but it should be a place where there are a lot of gay men who have enough time to stop and chat.

The best hours are between 2 and 4 pm in public places, and between 9 and 11 pm in bars. When it gets late, you start getting desperate, and you are more likely to go home with someone inappropriate.

Cruise with a buddy. Cruising alone makes you seem creepy, especially if you are over Besides, everyone looks more attractive in a group, and your buddy can help you judge potential partners.

Do not drink while cruising. Or drink only in moderation. The same thing with drugs. You need a clear head to judge potential partners.

If you are drunk or high, you will make mistakes. When you see someone that you find attractive, strike up an ordinary conversation. Talk about the music at the bar, the exhibits at the museum, the food at the festival.

Move on to questions about jobs, leisure interests, family, and so on. If he is hesitant, or if his story has blatant contradictions, move on. If he asks, be brief and noncommittal. If he wants details, chances are he has no intention of following through with a meeting. He just enjoys thinking about sex.

Word the invitation carefully. You are obviously attracted to each other, so where do you go from here? A friendship, a romance, or a hookup? Invite him to your place, if possible. Take your own cars. Make sure that someone knows where you are.

Have your roommate in the house. Have your buddy follow you. Clean your apartment in advance. Nothing spoils the mood more than dirty dishes in the sink, an unmade bed, and an overflowing clothes hamper. Leave your wallet in the car. Safe sex practices only! If it is a daytime hookup, etiquette demands that you offer him coffee or a snack afterwards. Of course, you may want to go farther — in that case, ask him for a date on the spot.

Here are some suggestions. Here are a few handy hints if you like a bit of al fresco cruising. If you take your phone, put it in silent mode and keep it out of sight. Not only will you be advertising it to potential pickpockets, but you may not notice if guys are cruising you. Find out where the exits are and where any paths lead to. If you want to fuck him, tell him — or take out a condom — and see how he reacts.

Keep clear of trouble There may be occasions when you need to refuse unwanted advances or find yourself in a difficult situation. Well, actually, quite a lot of people. If this is your thing or maybe you want to try it, here are some tips you should know.

Sex in a public toilet is illegal: If someone complains and you are caught with your pants down you could be prosecuted. So be careful at all times. Sex in public places: Public order offences exist that guard against outraging taste and decency like fucking in the supermarket aisle , but the act permits sex in an isolated place so long as you have a reasonable expectation of privacy.

Sex behind a toilet door does not count. This is designed to protect you from being watched without your knowledge or consent via anything from hidden webcam to a hole in the wall. The law exists to protect you, and prosecute people caught with their pants down. If you are arrested you are entitled to free legal advice and should ask for a solicitor to be present. You are only required to give the police your name and address.

The police may ask you for proof. You do not have to give information about your job or where you work. You do not have to reveal your HIV status unless you require medical help — and then only to a police surgeon. You will be required to sign a number of documents.

Always read them carefully and make sure you fully understand what you are signing. Never plead guilty if you have not committed any offence. Regardless of HIV status, using condoms protect you and your partners — it is not only about HIV but also other sexually transmitted infections. Oral sex is low risk as far as HIV is concerned, but you can still pick up other sexually transmitted infections.

You have the right to stop having sex whenever you want. Dispose of your used condoms carefully — wrap them in a tissue and put them in a rubbish bin or take them home. More complaints are received about used condoms left lying around than about men using the sites. There is no specific law against cruising. Sex in public places is not illegal as long as other people who might be offended cannot see you and are unaware that you are having sex.

According to police guidelines, the police should only respond to complaints from the public and should not go to an area to proactively try to catch people cruising. However, there are times when the police may investigate an area, for example if there are reports of homophobic attacks or robberies. It is not against the law for people to loiter, engage in conversation or walk around a cruising ground with the purpose of meeting others.

In other words, you cannot be arrested simply for going cruising. If you engage in sexual activity or behaviour that may cause alarm or distress to others, such as indecent exposure or voyeurism, you could be arrested or prosecuted under the Sexual Offences Act or the Public Order Act Therefore it is advisable to be as discreet as possible to avoid attracting attention.

For example, use secluded areas, and not anywhere you might be seen from a public road, path or houses, particularly during daylight hours. Remember to stay close to other cruisers though, in case of any trouble. Cottaging is looking for or having sex in a toilet available for use by members of the public, including toilets in the street, shops, leisure centres and other public transport venues such as train stations.

The Sexual Offences Act makes it illegal to procure or engage in sex in a public toilet and it is against the law for both gay and straight people. You can risk being arrested for cottaging regardless of whether you are being discreet or not.

For example, having sex in a cubicle behind closed doors is still illegal.

Gay sex hook ups monterey

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