Marisa Tesoro May 15, at 7: So, what do you have to worry about? In a stable, healthy relationship, everything should be on the table. While there should be a certain level of trust present in every relationship, a super secretive boyfriend could be hiding something.
Sharing a few texts here and there and talking about random homework assignments or inside jokes is to be expected between friends. But when friendly crosses the line into flirty, there may be a problem. He styled his hair a little differently tonight. The only girl your man should be trying to impress is you.
Of course, he, like many others, may just be trying to look decent before stepping out into the outside world. But Lindstrom has a different take on the situation. Ryan, a sophomore at the University of Missouri——Kansas City, agrees. But if your boyfriend starts caring more about hanging out with his girl friend instead of you, that could spell trouble. But when he starts doing more of these things with her than with you, you could have a problem on your hands.
Charlie, a junior at Loyola University Chicago, says he once fell for one of his girl friends while he was dating someone else.
He knows that you always study on Wednesday afternoons at the library, so he makes it a point to invite his lady friend over during that time. So, why should you be concerned? Lindstrom says this is a huge red flag. And you like hearing about his life before you came along. You like hearing all his charming anecdotes, which almost always make you laugh. But when one too many of those anecdotes involve the same two characters, you could start to see a pattern. If anything was going on, why would I talk about her?
But does he always have to tell you the stories in which she plays a main role? And does her name seem to come up in random conversations? If so, she could be on his mind… and maybe even in his heart.
But when it comes to venting about the ups and downs of your relationship, that could be going a little too far. Lindstrom chalks this situation up to two different kinds of cheating: Maybe he just needed someone to talk to before you were available, or he wanted to clearly frame his ideas on a subject before confronting you about something. Naturally he would turn to his good friend, a fellow female, for advice. But when this becomes a regular occurrence and she knows more about your relationship than you do, it might be time to draw some boundaries.
Your boyfriend offers to drive her even though he was planning on seeing his professor during his office hours today. When she starts to become a first-tier priority for him, it may be time to have a serious conversation with him. Girl friends of boyfriends walk a fine line between maintaining their friendship with their guy friend while also respecting the boundaries of his relationship.
If you notice your guy becoming a bit distanced from you and a bit closer to his friend, you might want to step in. If it appears as if Harry from When Harry Met Sally… was right about guys not being able to have girl friends, you should definitely calmly confront your boyfriend.