Threesomes In an earlier blog I stated that occasionally I see something repeated enough times that I feel inclined to write about it here. This is one of those topics. Strong sexual themes below: Who am I kidding. Three people are having sex. Most people would call this a threesome. It makes sense, right? Now, from my perspective, threesomes look like this: But there are certain parties who insist that what we call a threesome depends on the genitalia those three parties possess.
From their perspective, it looks like this: Lost in the Land of Heteronormativity, perhaps. For context, a train has always been defined as one woman and a large group of men.
The imagery of the term is crass, of course: Historically, a woman who participates in a train is viewed, discussed, and treated as an object of the highest contempt. A woman who participates in a train, according to men and women who subscribe to misogynistic standards of sexuality, is not a woman but a whore, deserving of any and every abuse, both verbal and physical.
The men who participate in trains, of course, are invisible in this interaction. No shame falls on their shoulders. Now we get to the real root of this discussion: Basic Sexism In its simplest form of analysis, the abovementioned understanding of threesomes puts on display its basic sexism. A man engaging in sex with two women at the same time has traditionally been given a badge of honor, a societal backslap, an historical high-five. He is perceived as sexually potent, a master of seduction with an endless supply of stamina.
It is commonplace in Hollywood films for the macho male star to rise from his bed while the camera catches sight of not one, but two women in his bed see Star Trek: Into Darkness and Troy for two immediate examples.
Women, however, are given no such congratulations. Female sexuality remains a force worthy of fear in our society—why else was American Pie , a story about teenage boys on a quest to lose their virginities, given an R rating by the MPAA but, Coming Soon , a similar story but with female stars, originally slapped with an NC rating?
The idea of a woman having the appetite not only to enjoy sex, but to enjoy sex with two simultaneous partners is not worthy of awe and admiration, but rather humiliation and degradation. It is misogynistic to imply that a man enjoying a threesome with two women is a mark of status, but the reverse is a mark of shame. Behavior whether sexual or merely social being rewarded when committed by a man and disgraced when committed by a woman and vice versa is one of the most basic structures of sexism in our society.
With two men and a woman, only the men are touching the woman. In short, how the fuck do you know? In short, the people who subscribe to these kinds of notions reveal themselves for what they are: In the minds of these people, a woman does not DO during sex, but is done. Even when she is performing oral sex, she is not doing, but having something done to her. This line of reasoning is a little rapey, if you think about it. Two men is her prerogative.
Because she can do what the hell she wants with her vagina to as many people as she wants. A threesome does not become a train merely because only one of the three is female. Call it what it is and keep your sexist little semantics to yourself.