How many times does sex hurt. when does sex stop hurting?.



How many times does sex hurt

How many times does sex hurt

For example is it painful when you masturbate? Or if you receive oral sex? Or have anal sex? When you bleed is this inside or outside your vagina or bum or another part of your genitals? It can help to reflect on where you feel pain — does it affect all of your genitals?

Or specific areas like your clitoris, labia, urethra, vagina or other genital areas, perineum or bum. Do you experience it more as a pain inside your vagina or bum or something that feels more like tummy ache? How would you describe the pain? Is it constant or does it come and go?

Can you think of anything that may be causing the pain? Is it linked to any kind of touch? For example you might be near the start of your period.

You might be very dry more on this later. Your partner may have scratched you with untrimmed nails or been clumsy or rough when touching you. Might you have an STI? Where is the bleeding coming from? What does the blood look like, how long does it go on for, and is it accompanied by pain?

If you end up seeking medical help or therapy this information can be important. As is noting what do you do when you experience pain? Positions Pain often seems to be linked to particular positions. While some people find any kind of penetrative sex uncomfortable, in general positions that allow for deeper penetration seem to cause more discomfort. If you have a partner with a large penis long or wide this may cause pain and together you may need to find positions that are the most comfortable for you.

Are you able to think about more pleasurable and pain free alternatives? It may be that while all of the above is painful you also enjoy it. If so limiting the amount you do it or varying how long you do it for may resolve things.

It could be worth experimenting with lubricants — but not to mask any pain. It could be due to not feeling turned on, general anxiety about pain or other relationships issues. You could be feeling very excited but not well lubricated, or can get wet but dry quickly.

Again a lubricant may be useful here as is exploring what brings you pleasure and spending as much time as possible on this.

If this is the case for you it is worth noting why that is? Alternatively not all encounters result in bleeding or pain — if this is the case with you it can help to consider what is different about the experiences that lead to pain and bleeding and those that do not.

Have you shared that sex is painful and that you bleed? If so, what was the reaction? If you are in a relationship where you are afraid to speak out, or that you are coerced into sex or that your partner is deliberately hurting you or causing you to bleed to abuse you then you may want to seek help from the National Domestic Violence Helpline or Broken Rainbow. Often in this case people say they stop having sex because of pain or bleeding, or that these factors are preventing sex from being pleasurable.

In which case it might be worth considering if you are asexual. If you think you would like to be sexual but there are barriers, can you list what they may be? Some women with disabilities report issues with pain and dryness leading to a lack of desire. Others may be recovering from past sexual abuse, or have been taught sex is bad or dirty, or have physical or psychological trauma resulting following any form of genital surgery. Those things could be addressed through therapy or clinical care see below.

What would make it more enjoyable? Write down all the things that spring to mind. If communication is difficult even if you generally get on well then it can also make it tricky or even impossible to tell a partner either what you would enjoy or that they are hurting you.

If your budget allows relationship therapy may also benefit you. Confidence and communication So often people with these worries tell me they feel afraid, alone, inadequate or that they have failed because they feel pain or bleed. This in turn can affect confidence and communication. You may find courses at your library or adult education centre on communication and assertiveness helpful.

Sometimes people take a clear health check e. It is better to focus on those than continuing to have painful sex because the doctor said you were OK. And if it is a medical problem it may be something like thrush, cystitis or bacterial vaginosis that can be easily treated. Sexually Transmitted Infections can often cause pain and bleeding, as can some other medical conditions.

If you are afraid about having something seriously wrong or a partner finding out about an STI the quicker you see a doctor the quicker it can be treated and support given. It may be no physical problem exists but your doctor can still refer you to a psychosexual therapist on the NHS waiting times and availability vary across the UK.

For readers in countries where care is harder to access this guide from Hesperian may benefit you. Remember your doctor will have heard about this concern from many people before and will not judge you or tell others about why you have asked for help.

Transgendered and Intersex people are often neglected in these discussions. If you are still worried seek healthcare advice or therapy too. Next steps Hopefully there is enough information here for you to either help yourself or seek additional support as needed through therapy, sexual health care or your GP. It may suit you better to completely avoid whatever gives you pain while you try and pinpoint the exact causes and your plans to deal with them.

Follow her on Twitter drpetra. Email your sex and relationships queries to: Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her next column, published online at Wonder Women. She may not be able to tell you that she is using your question, but will try to email you the reply if she does.

All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.

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Your Body During Sex



How many times does sex hurt

For example is it painful when you masturbate? Or if you receive oral sex? Or have anal sex? When you bleed is this inside or outside your vagina or bum or another part of your genitals? It can help to reflect on where you feel pain — does it affect all of your genitals? Or specific areas like your clitoris, labia, urethra, vagina or other genital areas, perineum or bum. Do you experience it more as a pain inside your vagina or bum or something that feels more like tummy ache?

How would you describe the pain? Is it constant or does it come and go? Can you think of anything that may be causing the pain? Is it linked to any kind of touch? For example you might be near the start of your period. You might be very dry more on this later. Your partner may have scratched you with untrimmed nails or been clumsy or rough when touching you. Might you have an STI? Where is the bleeding coming from? What does the blood look like, how long does it go on for, and is it accompanied by pain?

If you end up seeking medical help or therapy this information can be important. As is noting what do you do when you experience pain? Positions Pain often seems to be linked to particular positions. While some people find any kind of penetrative sex uncomfortable, in general positions that allow for deeper penetration seem to cause more discomfort.

If you have a partner with a large penis long or wide this may cause pain and together you may need to find positions that are the most comfortable for you. Are you able to think about more pleasurable and pain free alternatives?

It may be that while all of the above is painful you also enjoy it. If so limiting the amount you do it or varying how long you do it for may resolve things. It could be worth experimenting with lubricants — but not to mask any pain. It could be due to not feeling turned on, general anxiety about pain or other relationships issues. You could be feeling very excited but not well lubricated, or can get wet but dry quickly. Again a lubricant may be useful here as is exploring what brings you pleasure and spending as much time as possible on this.

If this is the case for you it is worth noting why that is? Alternatively not all encounters result in bleeding or pain — if this is the case with you it can help to consider what is different about the experiences that lead to pain and bleeding and those that do not.

Have you shared that sex is painful and that you bleed? If so, what was the reaction? If you are in a relationship where you are afraid to speak out, or that you are coerced into sex or that your partner is deliberately hurting you or causing you to bleed to abuse you then you may want to seek help from the National Domestic Violence Helpline or Broken Rainbow.

Often in this case people say they stop having sex because of pain or bleeding, or that these factors are preventing sex from being pleasurable. In which case it might be worth considering if you are asexual. If you think you would like to be sexual but there are barriers, can you list what they may be?

Some women with disabilities report issues with pain and dryness leading to a lack of desire. Others may be recovering from past sexual abuse, or have been taught sex is bad or dirty, or have physical or psychological trauma resulting following any form of genital surgery. Those things could be addressed through therapy or clinical care see below.

What would make it more enjoyable? Write down all the things that spring to mind. If communication is difficult even if you generally get on well then it can also make it tricky or even impossible to tell a partner either what you would enjoy or that they are hurting you. If your budget allows relationship therapy may also benefit you. Confidence and communication So often people with these worries tell me they feel afraid, alone, inadequate or that they have failed because they feel pain or bleed.

This in turn can affect confidence and communication. You may find courses at your library or adult education centre on communication and assertiveness helpful. Sometimes people take a clear health check e. It is better to focus on those than continuing to have painful sex because the doctor said you were OK. And if it is a medical problem it may be something like thrush, cystitis or bacterial vaginosis that can be easily treated. Sexually Transmitted Infections can often cause pain and bleeding, as can some other medical conditions.

If you are afraid about having something seriously wrong or a partner finding out about an STI the quicker you see a doctor the quicker it can be treated and support given. It may be no physical problem exists but your doctor can still refer you to a psychosexual therapist on the NHS waiting times and availability vary across the UK.

For readers in countries where care is harder to access this guide from Hesperian may benefit you. Remember your doctor will have heard about this concern from many people before and will not judge you or tell others about why you have asked for help.

Transgendered and Intersex people are often neglected in these discussions. If you are still worried seek healthcare advice or therapy too. Next steps Hopefully there is enough information here for you to either help yourself or seek additional support as needed through therapy, sexual health care or your GP. It may suit you better to completely avoid whatever gives you pain while you try and pinpoint the exact causes and your plans to deal with them.

Follow her on Twitter drpetra. Email your sex and relationships queries to: Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her next column, published online at Wonder Women. She may not be able to tell you that she is using your question, but will try to email you the reply if she does. All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.

How many times does sex hurt

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5 Comments

  1. Babies are meant to come out of that hole. Awkwardness and false starts, yes indeed. How much foreplay are you guys getting into?

  2. Taking more time for sexual play before intercourse is often all that is needed to turn a painful experience into a pleasant one. Deep Penetration Pain with deep penetration usually comes from the deeper organs being tender. Might you have an STI?

  3. Remember though, there's no need to rush it Most women have gone through a stage in which intercourse is painful; in up to a third of women, this has lasted a long time. No, it didn't work for me, but it isn't relevant for me, either, so no biggie.

  4. If it is a matter of muscle tension, bear in mind that her state of mind has a lot to do with it. In some positions such as lying on the side , penetration is not as deep, and sex might be more comfortable. If you think you would like to be sexual but there are barriers, can you list what they may be?

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