First of all, when fucking a cow, you need to ask yourself, is this really what I want to put my dick in? If you answered yes, then please, by all means, continue reading. If not, I suggest you just listen to the episode, leave a comment of thanks, and move on.
So, first things first, you are going to want to wear some protection. I know this might sound a little weird coming from me, because I fucking hate fucking with condoms on, but seriously, you could get some kind of weird cow aids, and that risk right there is worth putting a little latex in between you and the beef.
So then, like I was saying, you want to find a cow that is easy to get to. No good at all. I know privacy is dead, but when you are fucking a cow, you want to make the effort. A lot of pre-planning can go a long way out in the field. This will be way easier than going to a bar and wasting a money trying to get a girl drunk enough to fuck you. Those are the ones with cow aids. You also want to stay away from any cows that have horns on them, as that could get really bloody, really quick during foreplay.
You can choose depending on what your preference is. There are black cows with white spots and white cows with black spots. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not only to think over the fact that you are about to fuck a cow, but more importantly to make sure anyone that might have seen you scoping out their cattle will have well forgotten about you.
The last thing you want is the Jamhole to read a news story about how you got caught with your pants down fucking some dudes black cow. That is no good. So good luck to you in your journey of sexual ridiculousness and self rediscovery.
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Stay tuned for details. We are going to change the date so you can all come to Montana and actually enjoy the outdoors without freezing. You can watch trailers for the show and the show then get the full copy at the Jamhole store.
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