Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, but it's tough to have fun if you're constantly worrying about how well you're doing. If you want to put the sparkle back in your love life, learn why sexual performance anxiety might be happening to you and get some tips to put yourself at ease.
Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety Sex is more than just a physical response. Your emotions have something to do with it, too. When your mind is too stressed out to focus on sex, your body can't get excited either. Lots of different worries can lead to the problem: Symptoms Your state of mind can have a big impact on your ability to get aroused.
Even guys who normally don't have any trouble getting excited might not be able to get an erection when they're overcome by sexual performance anxiety.
Anxiety can take you out of the right mind-set for sex. When you're focused on whether you'll perform well, you can't concentrate on what you're doing in bed. Even if you are able to get aroused, you may be too distracted to reach orgasm. Sexual performance anxiety leads to a cycle of troubles.
You might become so anxious about sex that you can't perform, which leads to even more sexual performance anxiety. Continued Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety If you've got sexual performance anxiety, see a doctor -- someone you're comfortable enough with to discuss your sex life. The doctor will examine you and do some tests to make sure a health condition or medication isn't the cause of your problems. During the exam your doctor will ask about your sexual history to find out how long you've had sexual performance anxiety and what kinds of thoughts are interfering with your sex life.
If a medical issue isn't to blame, your doctor might suggest you try one of these approaches: Talk to a therapist. Make an appointment with a counselor or therapist who has experience in treating sexual problems. Therapy can help you understand and then reduce or get rid of the issues that are causing your sexual performance anxiety. Be open with your partner. Talking with your partner about your anxiety can help ease some of your worries.
When you try to reach a solution together, you may draw closer as a couple and improve your sexual relationship. Get intimate in other ways. Learn how to be intimate without sexual intercourse. Put on some romantic music or a sexy movie while you make love. Think about something that turns you on.
Taking your mind off your sexual performance can remove the worries that stop you from getting excited. Finally, take it easy on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed. Get help for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.
International Journal of Stress Management, November Archives of Sexual Behavior, Psychiatric Times, August American Family Physician, July Psychiatric Secrets, 2nd ed.