The next two installments of this column are going to be dedicated to some sexual preparations needed to come out relatively unscathed by this debaucheries of the holiday. Do keep the prophylactics handy: No matter what your relationship status, having these handy dandy barrier methods will be a life saver, or stopper, however you want to look at it.
I will say this often: I for one have never been scolded for handing out condoms to random strangers, save for that time at church. Just make sure you are storing them properly and by properly I mean, not in a wallet, glove compartment or cooler. Condoms can be crushed and the precious air bubble inside popped, resulting in air exposure, which can cause the condom to breakdown prematurely and possibly break during intercourse and we all know how that can ruin a weekend.
Keeping them stored in areas where they will be exposed to large variations in temperature will also cause it to become less dependable. So keeping them stored in a coat pocket or bra where pressure and temperature change is minimal would be ideal. This may also be a good time to try out the female condom because sex in a back alley in the French Quarter barely leaves enough time for kissing, let alone the 13 plus step process of putting on a condom.
So why not throw in a female condom on your next trip to the bathroom, if you can get to a bathroom. Do have a buddy system or tracking device ready or write your name and a returnable address somewhere on your body in the event you are found half naked in the back of a bike taxi.
Just make sure you have a plan get back to point A unscathed. Do wear clean, presentable celebration appropriate underwear: And do not forgo undergarments either! Unless you plan on not sitting on anything the whole night, you totally need that buffer between you and that over used barstool or sidewalk you just happen to be puking off of.
Try out a port-o-potty downtown at noon on Mardi Gras day and let me know what you think. While this is directed more at the lady readers, I would honestly not feel the least bit insulted if my Mardi Gras hookup made me breakfast in bed with a side of Plan B. Again, Emergency Contraceptive is another one of those things like condoms that having handy is NEVER a bad thing, either for you, a friend or a total stranger.
You get points for the good intentions, but deductions on the execution friend. She started dating at age 15 and subsequently lost her virginity at the end of that year. From then on she started having and talking about sex. At the age of 25 she began teaching sexual education to incarcerated youths as well as other inquiring adolescents.