Looking back on it I can see how I was and I will try not to do this here, but sometimes it's hard for me to know what is too much so I apologize in advance if I am too descriptive. Anyways, here is the problem- I know I should just be happy that I can orgasm, but something has become a slight problem. I used to have a bit of trouble climaxing through masturbation, and found it impossible to climax if someone else was touching me.
I had to do it myself. Then, I had someone else give me an orgasm. It gradually increased in frequency and I was very pleased as I had previously come to think it might be impossible for someone else to give me an orgasm. At one point I was looking up information online in regards to women who had trouble climaxing when I read somewhere that it might help if a woman were to get in to some certain position.
I can't quite recall the details, but it had something to do with her pressing her foot against a wall or something and this position was designed to help her squeeze her butt muscles and this was said to help a woman climax. The position itself isn't very important. It's the tightening of the butt muscles that was the point. I think it might have actually said some women could only orgasm while tightening their butt muscles. After this I noted that when I was nearing orgasm, that this was essentially what I did and had been doing tightening my buttocks only I didn't get in the same position.
I just tightened my butt muscles up, squeezing my butt cheeks together, and pressed my pelvis slightly upward. Before I had thought pressing my pelvis up was only good for extra pressure on my clitoris as it pushed me into my hand, but I suddenly realized it was also helping me to tighten my butt muscles up even more.
I also- and this is a really important part- brought my legs pretty close together, often I would bring them almost completely together, which also helped in the tightening process. I am not exactly sure how this works, but it really helps me. After this discovery, I made sure that whenever I was messing around with someone else, when the sexual stimulation became more intense I would do this in an attempt to assure myself an orgasm.
While this doesn't always guarantee me an orgasm, I have discovered that without it, it is impossible. This is the only way I can climax. You may be wondering how this is a problem. While it's not a huge deal, it does cause some trouble because I find it almost impossible to have an orgasm with anything inside of me. Even fingers seem to make it harder to climax. I want- no, I think I need- to tighten myself up as much as possible and I don't like anything causing my legs to be open- like a hand.
A hand seems to be too small to be obtrusive though, so maybe there is something else to the problem. It just seems impossible to have an orgasm during sex even with clitoral stimulation because I can't tighten these specific muscles up enough. It also makes oral sex more difficult. When I am close to climax, he has to move and perform from the side, because he can't be between my legs.
They must be mostly closed if not entirely. This is a tad frustrating. I know it makes it harder for him to perform cunnilingus. I mean he's great at it, but it has to make it harder, since access to most of my vulva is closed off and my clitoris becomes harder to get to well, also.
However, the main problem is how difficult it makes it to have an orgasm during sex. Actually, it makes it impossible. At least, it hasn't happened yet.
I really was almost there once, but it didn't happen. Afterwords, I thought sure I would be able to climax during sex, because that one time was so reassuring, but it still hasn't happened and yes I am combining sex with clitoral stimulation. I have only had an orgasm with something inside me one time and that was with the help of a vibrator.
I have tried the vibrator since then, but it hasn't worked since that time if their is anything inside me. I know many women have trouble climaxing from vaginal stimulation alone, but was under the impression that if they combined sex with clitoral stimulation, most could climax. Any thoughts on how to fix this?
We have tried positions that allow me to close my legs more than usual, but they just aren't closed enough. It really seems that opening my legs much at all makes it harder to clench the muscles together as tightly.
I am pretty badly out of shape which might be affecting this. Does anyone think that if I worked out my kegel muscles or the muscles in my buttocks and legs that it might make it easier to clench important muscles even with my legs apart and therefore I could climax during sex?
I don't want this to sound like I am unsatisfied with my sex life. I have a great lover and he can make me climax from oral sex and from manual stimulation and I can bring myself to orgasm, so I don't feel deprived. This really isn't something that I dwell on, but it does come to mind every now and then. It just so happened it was on my mind this morning so I figured I would bring it up. I would like to be able to have an orgasm during sex not only for myself, but for him as well.
He isn't dissapointed, but I just feel like he would be pleased if I could climax during sex and I think I would enjoy it as well. I don't need it, but it would be nice.