Well, I expanded it a bit to answer a few more questions. Now, last time I did a survey, I said I was going to hold out until we had responses. After seven months, I gave up at and decided I was not going to do that again. Well, this time I was pleasantly surprised to get over responses in less than two weeks!
So, here are your results. For some reason, fewer women are willing to fill out their surveys. How often do you have sex?
The average is twice a week. However, my female readers say 2. That said, I also seem to attract a lot of women readers whose husbands are the gatekeepers, because not many other Christian marriage bloggers are willing to admit that that actually happens as often as it does. Most prefer to stick with the stereotypical narrative. Do you engage in oral sex in your marriage? Moving forward, assume that all the subsequent questions only pertain to the group that does engage in oral sex.
With that group filtered out, the women consist of How often do you perform oral sex on your spouse? How often does your spouse perform oral sex on you? So, this begs the question: Why are the numbers so different depending on which spouse you ask? Well, I think there are two simple reasons. Firstly, this blog tends to attract people in unhappy marriages. Not all our readers, by any means. We have a lot of readers with really excellent sex lives. Some of whom report that their sex lives have vastly improved since finding our blog.
It just seems to be that, on average, men are more interested in all types of sex than women. Not always, but on average. The second reason had to do with the fact that we tend to re-write our memories to make us look better to ourselves. Typically, I suggest they start to keep track. That way you can stop arguing about whose memory is correct, and you can start having a conversation about the real issue: And then, in those marriages that are not as healthy, spouses tend to treat the each other as enemy combatants rather than as a team partner, and part of that includes demonizing their spouse to make them look bad.
Incidentally, one of the ways to start improving your marriage is to start acting like a team again, instead of opponents. Moving on… How often would you like to perform oral sex on your spouse? Men, on average, would prefer to perform oral sex on their wives twice as often as they currently are. None of them want to cut back on how much oral sex they are giving. How often would you like your spouse to perform oral sex on you? Now, this is surprising, I thought.
Only one wife in this group seemed irritated by the lack of oral sex in their marriage according to the comments. Most just expressed their appreciation of oral sex.
On average about Some never, but some always. So, for that group, it might just be some hangups regarding oral sex that make them want it less. For the men, only 1. Makes me feel a bit…less than; rejected. Wish my wife would do more, it is a very rare occasion when it happens. Biggest disappointment in our Sex life is the lack of oral sex from her. I mentioned my passion for oral sex two weeks into our relationship.
I wish she had been as honest! I just wish she did. She is pretty open about her disinterest in giving … On the other hand, she loves receiving especially as a way to orgasm.
I resent the lack of reciprocation. How often does your spouse orgasm when you perform oral sex on them? If you ask wives, they say their husband orgasms However, if you ask the men, they say only about According to the men, their wives orgasm And again, this is fairly typical of our audience. And that applies to oral sex as well. Wives that are readers here are far more likely to not only be willing to receive, but also give oral sex, even to the point of orgasm.
Not all, by any means, but more than the general Christian population. That nothing can be done about it. I had guessed half of that. And you know what? The women agree at And that means, just for comparison, that I honestly thought that would be reversed.
I fully expected women to be harder on themselves. Why do I run surveys like this? Well, for one, my goal here is to increase conversation about sex in Christian circles.
First, in marriages, but also in the larger context of community and church. I think people want to have a safe space to do that, and surveys, again, are an easy entry. Third, because I get comments like this: Largely due to the articles on this site, and other trustworthy Christian marriage books, this week my wife and I began talking about trying oral, mostly due to great difficulty in getting her to orgasm. She has gone months in between times she knows she orgasmed, even though we spend a good deal of time in foreplay with manual stimulation with my hand.
We have both just recently made oral a more ordinary part of our love making because we have grow greatly in our communication thanks to yours and similar sites. In short, because articles and surveys like this can help marriages simply by asking the questions. It gives a conversation starter for you and your spouse without too much risk.
How would you answer? Maybe something to try in your marriage? Have an idea for another survey? Welcome to the community! Check your email for the download link. There was an error submitting your subscription.
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