Melanie Ethand November 7, Hi. And I'm here to tell you that you can hook up with any chick you want. That's right, any chick you want. It has never, ever failed. Don't aim too high. Most really ugly girls have never heard this before because they're truly hideous. Choose the ugliest thing about her As if you can narrow it down to one and compliment on them.
However, if you chose the right girl, seven dollars can qualify as "exorbitant amounts. Hell, they've never eaten burgers that aren't served in mini paper bags.
Offer her a chicken dinner with all the trimmings at the local International House of Poultry. Butchering a chicken on a first date may seem crass, but you can use the feathers for an arts and crafts project on your second date! Tracing your hand and making a turkey is an aphrodesiac, especially if that poor uggo you've been eyeing never went to first grade. If this isn't going well, you can tell her you will loan her five dollars to mend her tattered coat if she'll give you oral sex.
Remember, it's only prostitution if she spends the money on booze. Fall onto your knees and plead with her. Begin crying as you tell her "Please, I just wanna get with you, baby. I promise I wont tell anybody. I'm the only one on earth who calls you pretty. I'm the only one on earth who would willingly feed you, this is the only opportunity you will ever get to feel somebody inside of you.
Why are you denying us that!? Please I'm begging you. She may say something to the effect of "Please, take me back to my shack," or "Why are you rummaging in my purse? I don't have any money, and my breath mints are made of sawdust " If this happens, jam a cookie in her mouth. You'll get silence, and she'll get even tubbier. Also, you'll probably want to kick her out of your moving car while travelling at a high speed, but if you're polite enough to slow down to a reasonable mph, she'll appreciate it.
Word about how considerate you are will start to circulate, and you'll start to get better-quality ladies. You're going to ejaculate tonite!