Love was definitely not one of the reasons I went on Flavor of Love! I can freely admit that I was not there for Flavor Flav, and neither were most of the other girls. Flav himself knew that this was a TV show first and foremost. He had his child's mother waiting back home each night. I was about to graduate from college Northeastern University and I owned a modeling agency in Boston at the time. Because of that, I got information about many casting calls, and I got the one for Flavor of Love 2.
I decided to make an audition tape just for fun; never in a million years did I think they would pick me. However, they must have liked something because they called me for an in-person interview and then I was picked for the show I decided to do the show because I knew it would be a once-in-a-lifetime experience that not many people can say they have done.
I wasn't looking to become famous, so exposure was not a motive. I just thought it would be a fun and unique experience, which it definitely was. Nibblz told Flav that I was a porn star. He confronted me, and I told him the truth: However, I have never been paid to do something sexual with another person. I would never perform a sex act or pretend to be performing a sex act for money; that is what I consider porn.
So I told him to go on the computer and check; try to find me having sex or doing something sexual with someone anywhere. I knew he wouldn't find anything because it didn't exist. The photo that Flav pulled out at the elimination ceremony was blurred out, so viewers had no idea what it was and they could think the worst.
I was the number one Google search that week! In reality, the photo was only of me- I was nude but had my hand down "there". Yes, it's a risque pose, and some people may consider that to be porn, but I don't. So I stuck by my word that I did not lie because I didn't consider that porn. It was very embarassing because everybody now thought I was some hard-core porn star since people didn't know what the photo really was of.
I have never been ashamed of the nude modeling I have done because I'm comfortable with my body and have no problem showing it off, but I wouldn't have sex for money because that crosses my boundaries. However, I'm sure you have heard of a video called "Toastee Exposed". This was released after Flavor of Love 2 aired. An ex-boyfriend from a couple years before I went on the show sold a private tape of me and him together to Vivid. It shows oral sex but no penetration.
I made the video with him never thinking that I would go on TV and become a reality star. I also never thought he would be so selfish and cold-hearted to do such a thing. He really wasn't even a serious boyfriend, just someone I was hooking up with for a little bit.
I have not talked to him at all, since we were together years ago. He changed his number. I don't know what I would say to him anyway. However, I have been pursuing legal action against Vivid because they cannot release this dvd for money without my consent or a signed contract. I have never gotten a penny from the release of the dvd, and I have never had any part in having it released.
The lawsuit has been ongoing for a while because of some complications, but I will be receiving a large settlement. Unfortunately it is still available to view and purchase, but that will change.
The damage is already done; people judge me because of it and it's embarassing that this private act is available for all to see. However, I definitely always appreciate the opportunity to clear up the situation and explain that it was a private video with an ex and I had nothing to do with its release.
Firstly, I get recognized everywhere I go. It's still a bit odd to me that so many people are hard-core fans who go nuts about me, but I appreciate every single fan I have. I get so many emails and Facebook messages from fans every day that I cannot personally handle them all sometimes. However, I do try to write back to as many fans as possible, and I sell autographed photos, the proceeds of which go to the charity www. I have experienced a lot of awesome things which I never would have been able to do if I weren't on TV.
For example, I get to travel a lot for appearances and events. I have met a lot of celebrities and been to some cool exclusive parties.
So, it's been fun to experience that lifestyle, but it hasn't changed me as a person or my goals for the future.
If so, what were they? I don't believe in regrets. I think that everything happens for a reason, even if you're not sure yet what that reason is! Things that happen, good or bad, shape your life and make you who you are. They can teach you valuable life lessons and make you more mature. Sometimes I think there are things I should have done differently on the shows, such as not getting so drunk on the first night of Flavor of Love 2. However, I know that made me a memorable character, and it led to me being chosen for 2 other shows.
I consider Pumkin to be a good friend. She lives on the other side of the country, in California, but we try to see each other when possible and try to line up appearances together.
I see some other cast members at appearances as well. Many of the cast members are very cool, but many are also people whom I would never choose to surround myself with in real life. Is Toastee who you really are, or a bit of an act? Toastee is a character created by and for the reality shows I've been on.
It is not who I am, but it is definitely still a part of my past and thus a part of my life. When I meet fans, I always tell them my real name and would like them to know the real me. There is absolutely a performance aspect to being on the shows. Everyone on the shows realizes or should realize that they are there to make good TV.
I think everyone is just a more animated version of themselves on TV. That is, when cameras are following you around all the time, you don't want to appear boring and you're well aware of the purpose of the cameras' presences.
You may do or say things that you wouldn't normally do if cameras weren't constantly on you. Yes, I have done modeling and acting for years, and I think it's a lot of fun, but it's not what I want to do forever; it's more of a pastime.
I definitely think you need an alliance; otherwise there is nobody to have your back. When you're in an alliance, you know there are people who want to and will fight to keep you in the game. Without an alliance, you're completely on your own. I can do that with the degree I already hold, a Bachelor's in psychology pre-med. I originally planned on medical school to become a psychiatrist; psychiatrists must go to medical school in order to be able to write prescriptions.
However, I've taken time off during which I still took graduate school classes and I've realized that I just don't like a lot of the courses I'd have to take in med school. My dad is a doctor and me being a doctor came a lot from pressure from him.
My new plan is to go for my Master's in psychology because I love school and it will open more doors having that degree. However, I may continue to do some things in the entertainment industry, such as some small acting roles and modeling.
I don't know if I would ever do another reality show, but I never say never. So I'm taking things day by day and I'm open to the opportunities that come my way. Create a free website.