The moment everyone had been waiting for came. The pastor, in an enthusiastic tone, announced: This was followed by a mixture of applause and screams from the audience. I eagerly waited for the sensual work that had begun to be brought to completion. For the remaining part of the wedding, I wondered what our first would be like. I was expectant and turned my little brain into a questionnaire. Make sure you are sweet in bed. The upscale interior decor was refreshing to the eyes.
Various works of art garnished the walls around us. It was a pleasant sight. The eyes of a brown-skinned receptionist at the welcome desk greeted us.
As we negotiated for a room, I could only think of the three letter word that makes the world go round. The red sheets on the bed spoke the language of love. It was a calm and convenient cubicle. It seemed like the perfect place for a romantic adventure. I knew Mr N.
I knew he will then insert it somewhere between my legs. I knew, as a pioneer, it will hurt a little but the pleasure will far surpass the pain. Little did they know that we had not consummated the marriage. I was totally disappointed in myself. What was I missing? We kept trying for the next one week with the same results. N had to leave for work. He worked as a Marine Electrical Engineer in Equatorial Guinea and was going to be away for two long months.
The level of disappointment in myself grew. It was a mixture of confusion, uncertainty and doubt. After examining my lady parts, I concluded that there was no way a thing that big was going to go through and stay there. I also thought I had been bewitched by some ill-meaning family member. Thoughts were running through my mind like waves in a torrent. The over one week of trying to eat the fruit of marital goodness seemed like a wild-goose chase.
The only results I had were soreness, I wondered why a thing that novels, movies and friends said was so good had turned out so gruesome. He never went near that topic. Not even in a joke. The reaction from the class was enough to make a coy lady quickly digress to something else.
Yet, among the jeers and boos she pressed on. It was a pretty rough ride for the teacher, dealing with curious teenagers but she pulled through. My other form of sexual education was in the church where I was taught that godly principles required that I remained untouched until my wedding night. It was said that the greatest gift I could ever give my husband on our wedding night was my virginity.
But the gift I had kept as strictly instructed refused to be unraveled. Our various attempts at penetration failed. It was a night void of coitus. It took another two months before our breakthrough came in a moment of pleasure mixed with pain. I was glad that the spell was broken. It did not however stop me from wondering if my case was anomalous. Some months later, I had a chit-chat with a friend who shared a similar experience. She and her to-be husband tried to unlock the gate to her womanhood but kept hitting the wall.
When I told her my experience, we laughed together. I understand that a lot of parents, pastors and role models in the society refrain from talking to young people about sex because they do not want to stir the wrong emotions.
But there are age appropriate discussions that should take place. What you will tell a 3 year old, may not be what you will tell a 13 year old or even a 30 year old. But a 30 year old needs to know much more than that. As a young Christian girl, I wish I had been taught that sex is a wonderful thing created by God. I wish I had known more about the details and nature of sexuality. The absence of knowledge is an invitation to fear. When fear comes, it prevents women from having positive sexual experiences.
What was your wedding night like or what plans do you have for your wedding night??? Abeg share with me below.