Updated December 12, How many dates do you go on with someone before you have sex? The question about how long or how many dates to go out with someone on before fooling around actually came up on our Midlife Forum - the thread entitled What is Normal?
If you give it up too quickly, is that a bad sign for the potential relationship? Are you just EASY if you give it up within several dates? Does age factor into any of this? And what about the Three Date Rule? What is that, and why is it important? First of all, everyone is different - and what is right for some is not right for others. So everything is relative - there are no firm answers that apply to everyone. Think of anything you see here or anywhere on this subject as a reference point Better to adapt, not adopt - which means take it all into consideration, and then make your own decisions.
That something could be a major kiss, or it could mean some bedroom activity. Chemistry is the key - and if there is chemistry, then certainly at least a make out kiss should take place. Now sometimes people are shy - and if you find yourself at two dates and nothing has happened, but you really do want to step on the gas, then make a plan to get yourself a major kiss.
For example, when I am dating someone new - I usually do not kiss on the first date If she is "into me", then this always goes over well.
If she's not, well that's never happened to me - so I don't know. You definitely do not want that - because you already have enough friends. What about bedroom activity? How soon is soon enough to fool around? Once again, I'd say that if there is really good chemistry between two people, then somewhere in the three date range two dates to four dates is typical and ideal.
But after the first date, if there is extreme chemistry between the two of you, then certainly doing it on the second date is good. Or maybe it makes one or both of you feel better if you wait to date number three. Are you EASY if you sleep with someone on the second or third date? Not necessarily - but you might be considered EASY if you do this all the time Otherwise, you are not what most would consider EASY.
You might instead just be HOT. It might - but more likely it means that you are just exceptionally picky. And if that works for you, then fine. In such cases, you might discover that you are scaring off good people with such chaste - as they might think you are not interested in them, or that you just want to be friends. Plus most individuals have other options backburner dates that they can turn to, if you don't put out. My point here is that by appearing FRIGID, your risk of losing out on a potentially great relationship is higher than it otherwise would be.
Well, I am currently in my mids - and everything I state above has held true my entire adult life. Certainly in one's 20s and 30s, people have a lot of hormones running through their veins - and that usually means that sexual activity occurs quickly.
In our 40s and at least through our early 50s, many of us have come out of long marriages or long-term relationships, and desire some gratification I've personally found that late 30s to mids women Perhaps that's because they came from relationships where sex was absent or rare Make Your Own Decision What is right for some is not necessarily correct for all - so take all of this as input, and decide what is best for you.
Figure out what your personal point of equilibrium is so that you feel good about yourself, while at the same time you achieve your relationship goals. Only you know what is best for you. Here's something else to think about If you are on a date, and don't know what to do next - just refer to that rule, and everything will be fine.