February 23, at 4: The first was the day I told him there would be no sex for two more years. That he had to consider the needs of others in the area and not disrupt lives with his accrued seniority under his UAW contract. He had come home after his discharge From the US Navys submarine service where he had been the first 3 and a half years of our marriage, He came home with his Dolphins several ribbons that he had not left with.
And his patrol pin with three gold stars and two silver. His father wanted him to reenlist instead of coming back and reinstating on His transmission plant UAW position. Because his discharge was Honorable the Contract was giving him his seniority like he had never left, He came back with 9 years At the time with the turnover that had happened while he was gone with retirements, transfers and Terminations and new hires, His name on the seniority list appeared as higher than other people out of the person hourly work force.
Within the first hour home the war was on with him. My first sight of my husband was the next day. He had been put straight on second shift even having to borrow coveralls because he had not any civilian cloths to wear. He was yanked off the sofa again an hour after he laid down. With his father yelling to hit the bricks and find a place to live , I had come there six months before, Heavelly drugged, With anti anxiety anti pshycotics, Lithium for Bi Polar.
That morning I was begged by his mother with my husband younger sister and brother who himself had just returned from his two weeks reserve duty in the army. We heard his father stop yelling with a gurgle. When his mother screamed help we went out to this sight, MY husband had his father pinned to the living room ceiling staring him right in the eyes, HE was telling him that I was going to be out in the living room in two minutes and going to find a place to live with him.
He was also saying that he had not had any thing solid to eat since the Turnover five days before on the Boat, He was going to get to that first. HE was also saying that if he had to us his fathers dead body to find me using it as a wreaking bar to tear bulkheads out I was going to see him that morning, There was no indication of a patient life in him.
I had to tug on his t shirt sleeve and beg him to put his father down. We found a place and was going to pay the down the next day after he put his discharge pays of over in the bank He was living off his travel pay. That night the discussion in his fathers house turned to the respect my husband needed to show in the community I was given the example of how much he had in feeling for the way the community was set up in traditions and privilege.
The example was about his return from the Army the fall of on a split Enlistment 13 years before And 8 years before I even knew of his existence.
He was 17, Coming home assigned TAD to the local Guard command until his return to the Army in to complete his diploma. He came back in time to go back to the Foot ball team, As you know The military basic does not leave any one soft and the following schools made my husband smart before he came home That fall fast. He was not going to let any one tell him he had to turn a position he had earned on the team over to a Sophmore just because his father was on the school board, There were four of them on the team that year and their dads used their office to ensure their first string spot over four seniors who had earned the slot.
When these four seniors were told they were being put on second string for political reasons, The four younger boys got snbippy saying they guessed that pedigree counted for more than skill. MY husband was considered somewhat of a leader in this group, The other three were already joining the Military. Neither me or his mother knew about what happened latter that evening until , I knew about the scares, but all that was said about them was it happened in the Army.
We found out 10 months before my husbands mother died what the story was behind them, His father and the four school board members were not going to stand for his defiance in the society, The caught him off guard and knocked him out with a golf driver then tied him to a tree demanding his apology, when he would not say he was sorry they used electric lamp cord to Whip him until he was cut down to his ribs and spine and hung there passed out with the ties cutting into his wrists.
He was left like that until they came and cut him down the next morning. I also found out at that time why his father never wanted me to be touched by my husband, He had been engaged to another woman in and , I finally saw her pictures located in my husbands old foot locker.
This wasa another thing his father felt was the ultimate in sin. They met when they were in intelligence school in Arizona, She was language and my husband was in Terrain analisys and equipment capabilitys. The problem was she was not white. She was half native Hawaiian half oriental and his father is a racial purity nut, Their engagement ended when his father got on her and She and my husband were sent to different areas of the world at her request not where they were planning in Great Britton to get married..
I met my husband five years latter just out of high school while he was in a navy School for strategic weapons My father had died the year before and My mother moved us from NYC to Norfolk VA. I was just starting my degree. A year and a half later my husband and I married.
We were planning a honey moon and His Permanant Change of station To South Carolina was Starting the Monday, His father saw an opportunity that day when a Senior chief showed up with Emergency crew replacement orders for five out of my husbands Class to go to Kings bay as a replacement for men caught in a drug test.
We did not even make the wedding night. Before he was on a COD heading to Georgia. I saw him next three years latter except for brief glimpses going to other boats as replacement,. The needs of the Navy came first. When I did see him next the only thing I was to talk to him about was reenlisting, But he had worked for this Auto manufacturer for four years between enlistments. He was going back because he had had enough. When he came back I described the first two days home, It was the third day that set up the next 24 years.
I was begging him to not ruin a girls life by bumping her to second shift She only had six months seniority to my husbands nine years, I ended up telling him he would not have a marital bed the next two years to keep things from being disruptive. He took the house keys we had Received that day, And hes telling me that I was a Mercenary bitch and he hoped my bed was as Icy as my heart and nearly flattened his mother coming from her job.
She asked me to leave for a while, When I returned his father was spending time away, We went over to the house the next morning and was hoping to smooth things out. He was still yelling that he was never to touch him again. Was I going to be a wife or was I going to get my lazy rear on a job. HE had a union perk of a travel agent that got tremendous discounts For group trips A plan was developed for a trip to Rome.
Flying out on the first of June HIs father waited two months before to talk to me about the same girl two years before and how if my husband kept his vacation slot. So I went to my husband hat in hand and told him he had to give his vacation time up for this girl and coworker. I said when we came back we could do something else just on our own and make our marraige right then.
It was his perk that enabled this trip, he had not had a day off since the day before our wedding six years before, he had done everything asked of him the prior two years. Telling him to make himself at least usefull and take our luggage to checkin. He got out of the van and acted like this. Yas massas dis po house nigger gets rights to its. When yous alls returns from yous rest yous be all ready to beat dis man proper.
He peels out two minutes latter leaving our luggage scattered in the road. I was the matron of honor for the wedding in Rome and saw the couple off to Naples Most of the group including the brides father who was an area manager in my husbands plant sat down to a dinner in the inn we were staying.
He knew that if my husband decided to bump somebody out of their vacation that summer there was nothing the company could do. But his father and him had a suggestion. To get my husband to wait until after the Christmas shutdown He could work through it making the triple time.
And even use it to go on a vacation someplace nice like Hawaii. The Caymans or the Bahamas Over our anniversary and his birthday. This was the vision I had on the flight back, It was promptly shot to pieces the ten minutes after landing, His mother and I had selected a pair of boots as a Peace offering and We arranged albums to show him Rome as we saw it..
We were going to talk about how to get things right now. Go To some romantic Beach house or cabana and have a honey moon nearly six years after when it should have been.
He had already looked into the places that we were going to suggest and found even the reservations had reservations in case somebody canceled. We started suggesting places to drive to even befotre leaving the airport parking lot that winter. He said feel; free to go her was not Ice scating across country for a vacation He was not considering any compromise to leaving on a westrern road trip that day.
I finally put my foot down and said he could not ruin the plans others had, We would figure something out and tell him when we would go. He left the Interstate heading to the Trailways terminal. He was holding what I swore to as a gun to every ones head. HE said since I did not want to be a wife I was being returned to my mother and he was filing for a divorce.
I watched his brothers try and keep his father and him apart as we pulled out HE did not ever look at those albums or even look at the boots we bought for him They still sit in my Ceder chest, 30 years latter. Alongside another try at peace in after the Divorce was denied, WE got him put in Jail the day before we were leaving for Bavaria and the Millinial celebrations, Just to keep him from defying the restraining order to make him work that year.
WE just wanted to sweep the previous 15 years out with the old century and try for a new start. With any Discussion in fairness Start the New Year, and Century with everything from before forgiven and forgoton, He was 45 the day we flew in. We had him woke up in his suburban, and He had not even cleaned up after work the night before. His mother and father had worse waiting A dollart cleanup of the outside of their house and a large antique wagon wheel set up in the front yard with Rawhide wrist straps A bull whip and a sign that told the community to come witness the uppity nigger get his whipen meaning him.
His mother was taken to her sisters crying why does he hate everyone this bad, We were going to try and make peace this year with him After that everything was violent in him taking his rights. To date 35 men have been badly hurt for any intimidation with weapons. IF interference in any form is tried somebody gets badly beaten.
We4 kept trying to get him to take his time in mid winter, IN We stool his poassport and canceled his reservations on the Orient express to let a man with 2 years seniority to his 34 get his marriage off to a start my husband never allowed. We got the entire amount for his cancelation by his father kicking in the ten Percent thinking the new arangments I was making for the second of January would be acceptable as a fair trade I was going to give him that check in seven months with reservations for both of us to st Criox for five weeks, the Island Honeymoon I wanted with him.
We had asked for an office in TSA and his union to send his steward and chaplin down to try and work through what was going to be a no about going back to work.
HE grabbed my shoulder bagh and threw me across that office taking his check, All the money I was taking and ripped my boarding pas in half Then to get his passport back he Was strangling his father to death over a stupid vacation, My shoulder had to be put back in place. HIs father was given O2, and his mother cancelled and had him take her home with him.
That trip was now trashed. I was still hoping the ST Croix trip was viable to make even a littler peace. I went to county lockup for two months for acting as false agent with his father.
Even though the check was considered restitution The way it was done was considered a breach of his civil rights, I saw him next on Labor day night. Hunched over and sweating at work, The young man we did this for had been terminated the day he came back.
And his stomach was hurting He had also lost a lot of weight in the last four months. I tried talking about ST Croix but just got silence in return. His father started to speak but was shut down with the words say one thing I dare you.